Nostalgia you sneaky little...

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Here I am, another start to the holiday season.  Happy Thanksgiving all.  I haven't written much of anything in a while.  I'd like to say I was busy, but just not motivated to put my fingers on the keyboard.

Today marks the start of the holidays for me.  I have a rule, no Christmas movies, music, etc until Thanksgiving.  Why? Because for me, if I were to watch and listen to these items all year, it wouldn't hold the same feeling for me.  I look forward to this time every year and I have so much I can remember (I think I have written about this before).  

When I was young, I really thought that the entire world took a deep breath and loved each other for just one day (see previous writings about how small our worlds are when we are young).  I still hold faith that someday we will cast aside greed and power to realize we can be great all at once.  I hold faith in you humanity.

For me, I sit here listening to an old vinyl Christmas record, the cracks, the pops, all add a layer of nostalgia that I don't expect to affect me, but it does, every damn time.  I can smell the house where my brother, sisters, and I spent most of our youth.  My mind feels young and longs for a simpler time when I was naive to the ways of the world.  A time when contralto Marian Anderson sings silent night on an old turn table that needs a new needle, I daydream about what peace on earth actually means, and have absolutely no clue about the life ahead of me.  Ah, to be young and in the moment again.

I won't lie, I play these old Christmas albums and a tear wells up (maybe two).  I find a lot of things, feelings, thoughts, and just because does that a lot lately.  You know, I bet it happens to you all a bit too.  Thinking about your grandparents, parents, kids, and friends so many people that come in and out of our lives all of which are shaping molding and teaching.  We just don't realize it in the moment at times.

So, what am I thankful for today?  Of course my wife, kids, family, etc...  that is a given as they are the people that give me power and focus.  But honestly, I am thankful for all of it, all of you, all of this messy damn world that at times can show how absolutely great it can be and at other times can sink to lows you didn't imagine.  I am still thankful for it though, because without all of it we wouldn't learn what love and sacrifice truly is.  I am just hopeful that we can start learning from our mistakes as well as we learn from our successes.

I wish you all a wonderful holiday season.  Tell the ones you love that you love them no matter how hard it is for you to show emotion (looking at you Gen X'ers), try to have empathy, cast less stones, and you know what, cry when no one is looking as sometimes they are "just because" tears.

I really do love all of you.

For now - MMGA (MMMM good)

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